What is the one thing kids need from you?

I have learned this lesson over the past year as my child has grown from young preschooler to older preschool to almost kindergartener. There is only one thing kids need more then anything else in their life providing food, clothing and shelter are not an issue. Kids need time. Kids need time with you. Pure one-on-one time where you are truly present.

Kids don’t need tons of toys. Kids don’t need the latest iPad. Kids need your time.

Why does it seem easier to give kids new toys rather than our time. Kids need our devoted, undivided attention for a small chunk of time every day. Kids need us to be present in time listening to their play and joining in the play. The one {free} thing kids need that every parent should try to provide is that small chunk of time.

I have found that 30 minutes of playtime, real parent to kid playtime in our house is so important for our son’s happiness. If we devote our attention to him for 30 full minutes without checking our phone or staring off into space, he is so happy. This isn’t to say we don’t stop and read books or play games at other times during the day, but for 30 minutes he can share with me the type of play that he is really into that day. Whether it is trains, legos, super heros, blocks or pretend adventures your kids need you to be a part of it.

Don’t get into the habit of saying maybe later. Do it now or try to give your kid a more specific time like right after lunch or as soon as we put away the groceries.

Better yet, ask your kid to play what you know they want to play with you!

Your kid will be floored that you asked to play what they love.

I know it’s tough to get into play sometimes. I am the worst at pretend play, but everyday I try really hard to get into character with Batman and Superman. Do I enjoy it? Well, no, not particularly, but does my son enjoy it? You bet! Therefore, I enjoy it for that reason. Kids need to see you interested in what they are interested in too. Not just what you are interested in doing with them.

It’s okay if you don’t really enjoy pretend play. I think many people don’t want to admit it. We still do it because we know it’s what our kids need and it makes them happy.

I have found there is a huge difference in playing what my son wants as opposed to suggesting a type of play that is an easier choice for me.  Although my son is happy to play board games with us anytime, I know he craves the play that is so important to him. Kids need to share with you what they love and it is a great bonding opportunity to show how much you care about what interests them.

Simply throwing more super hero toys at a kid to get them to play by themselves is not the same as getting down on the floor and playing super heros with them.

I guarantee kids will find more love in less toys if you play with them.

 Just a small chunk of your time can bring so much joy.

Will you play with your kids for 30 minutes today?

 

Why Play With a Child | Psychology Today

Connecting Through With Your Child Through Play | Ann Barbour for PBS 

5 Things I Do Everyday With My Toddler | Toddler Approved

 

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